The Cliff

I was forced to mount a cliff somewhere

While a sharp rock embedded into my skin

An order commanding me stand to shout

And issuing an ultimatum to the world

I could stand but not shout

Or I could shout but not stand

Straight body could only be rigid

While crazy shout could only be bent

Steepness and sharpness of the abyss

Did not allow straightness to challenge them

The limits of the body could only choose between two ways

But the absolute order demanded both

To choose is a hopeless struggle

Either to stand straight shouting and being crushed to pieces

Or to bend my knees to the abyss

While the huge sky has pressed down

1996.12.15

Dawn

Between the gray wall

And a string of sounds of chopping in kitchen

Dawn is tied and cut

And melted by a sort of limpness of soul

I do not know how the difference

Between light and darkness displays through my pupils

Sitting in the rust I cannot determine

Whether it is the light of prison shackles

Or the god of nature beyond the walls

Betrayal of the day makes the proud sun

Shocked very much

This dawn is broad in vain

While you in a great distance

Collect the nights of love  

1997.6.30

悬崖——给妻子

我被逼上某处悬崖

锋利的石头嵌进皮肤

一个命令让我站立着呐喊

向世界发出最后通牒

我能站立却无法呐喊

我能呐喊却无法站立

笔直的身躯只能僵硬

疯狂的呐喊只能弯曲

深渊的陡峭、尖利

不允许笔直的挑战

身体的极限只能二者择一

绝对的命令却要求两者兼得

选择，无望的挣扎

要么挺直了呐喊，粉身碎骨

要么向深渊屈膝

巨大的苍穹已经俯压下来

1996.12.15

早晨——给霞

在灰色的高墙

和一阵剁菜声之间

早晨被捆束被切割

被一种灵魂的瘫软所消融

不知道光与黑暗的区别

怎样透过我的瞳孔呈现

坐在锈迹中我无法确定

是狱中的镣铐之光

还是墙外的自然之神

白昼的背叛令骄傲的太阳

惊愕不已

这个早晨徒劳地广阔

你在远方

将爱的夜晚珍藏

晓波1997.6.30

A Little Mouse in Prison

A little mouse crept through the iron bars

Pacing forth and back on the windowsill

The peeled walls are watching it

And so are the mosquitoes full of blood

It also attracts the moon in the sky

So that its silver projection seems flying

What a rare beauty

The mouse in this evening is rather a gentleman

Not eating, drinking, or chattering its teeth

But staring with its eyes bright as a thief

And taking a walk in the moonlight

1999.5.26

Longing to Escape

To put aside the fictitious martyrdom

I am longing for lying on your feet

Beside being entangled with death

This is my sole obligation

And also an everlasting happiness

when my heart is clear as a mirror

Your toes could not be broken

As a cat was following you behind

I would really like to drive it away

It turned around to me

And outstretched its claws

In the depth of its blue eyes

There appeared a prison

If I stepped out blindly

Even just a step

I would be turned into a fish

1999.8.12

狱中的小耗子——给小霞

一只小耗子爬过铁条

在窗台上来回走动

剥落的墙在看它

吸饱了血的蚊子在看它

它也吸引了天上的月亮

银色的投影似乎在飞

一种罕见的美

今晚的耗子很绅士

不吃不喝不磨牙

瞪着那双贼亮的眼睛

在月光下散步

晓波1999.5.26

渴望逃离——给妻

抛开虚拟的殉难

我渴望躺在你的脚下

这是除了与死亡纠缠的

唯一义务

也是心如明镜时

持久的幸福

你的脚趾不会折断

一只猫紧跟在身后

真想替你赶走它

它转过头

向我伸出利爪

蓝眼睛的深处

似乎有一座监狱

如果我盲目跨出

哪怕仅仅一步

就会变成一条鱼

晓波1999.8.12

A Letter Would Be Enough

A letter would be enough

For me to surmount all

To speak with you

When the wind blew

The night with its own blood

Wrote down a secret word

To let me remember

That every word is the last one

The ice in your body

Melted into a myth of fire

To the eyes of executioners

The anger became a stone

Two rails suddenly overlapped

The moths flying toward the light

In the eternal gesture

Followed your shadow

2000.1.8

一封信就够了——给霞

一封信就够了

我就能超越一切

向你说话

当风吹过

夜晚用自己的血

写出一个隐秘的词

让我记住

每一个字都是最后一个字

你身体中的冰

融化成火的神话

刽子手的目光中

愤怒变成石头

两条铁轨突然重叠

扑向灯光的飞蛾

以永恒的姿态

跟随你的影子

晓波2000.1.8

The Aloneness in Winter

- to Xia

The aloneness at a winter night

Is the blue background on the screen

Simply everything at a glance but nothing at all

Then, you may consider me as a cigarette

To light or put out at any time

Smoking and smoking, but never ending

A pair of bare feet is stepping on the snow

Like a piece of ice falling into a wine bowl

Drunkenness and madness

Are the drooping wings of a crow

Beneath the endless shroud of earth

Black flame is crying out involuntarily

The pen in my hand has suddenly snapped

Sharp wind is piercing the sky

Stars are fragmented into an adventure in my dream

The incantation dripping blood writes verse

The skin tenderness still remains

A kind of brightness returns to you

The aloneness, clearly

Is standing in the weeping at a cold night

And touching the marrow of snow

And I

Is not a cigarette nor wine nor pen

But an old book

Similar to

"Wuthering Heights" where there grows poison teeth

1995.1.1

冬日的孤独

——给霞

冬日之夜的孤独

是荧光屏上的蓝背景

单纯得一览无遗又一无所有

那么，你就把我想成一支烟

可以随时点燃随时熄灭

抽呀抽，永远抽不完

一双赤脚踏在雪地上

象一块冰掉进酒杯

沉醉和疯狂

是乌鸦低垂的翅膀

在大地那无边的尸布下

黑色的火焰失声痛哭

手中的笔突然折断

尖利的风刺穿天空

星星碎裂成梦中奇遇

咒语滴着血写下诗行

皮肤的细嫩依然

一种明亮复归于你

孤独，鲜明地

耸立在寒夜的哭泣中

触摸雪的骨髓

而我

不是烟不是酒不是笔

只是一本旧书

类似于

长着毒牙齿的《呼啸山庄》

1995.1.1

Me in Rain

to Xia

It rains

Raindrop passes through the sun

I was pushed to the edge of the world

I have to be in shock incessantly

And have to be in obedience reluctantly

The raindrop is not cruel

But its gentleness is full of danger

Alone in nudityI am the only one naked in rain

The tints in rain are puzzling

All the umbrella seem to scream weakly

Disappearing in the time soaked by rain

What I hope forIs to collapse in rain

Is that my thin body

Will go away before the rising sun

I am afraid of every kind of quiet changes

And cannot afford even more

Any feat as a hero

Arousing God's attention

Is the self-maltreatment by wishful thinking

I who have no wisdom to commit blasphemy

Can only light a cigarette

1991.7.30

雨中的我

——给霞

下雨了

雨滴穿透太阳

我被推向世界的边缘

只有惊愕不已

只有勉强顺从

雨滴并不残酷

但，它的温柔充满危险

独自一人裸露着

我是雨中唯一的裸露者

雨中的色彩令人疑惑

所有的伞都象微弱的呐喊

消失在被雨水浸湿的时间中

我所希望的

是雨中的崩溃

是我单薄的身体

先于初升的太阳而离去

我害怕每一种悄然的变化

更无力承受

任何英雄式的壮举

引起上帝的关注

是一厢情愿的自虐

没有智慧去亵渎的我

只能点燃一支烟

1991.7.30

Night and Dawn

- To Little Xia

The night when dropping asleep alone

Is extremely cold

The lonely star before dawn looks even more ruthless

Despite of the orange light at bedside

The cold darkness still

Leaves no mercy

For swallowing all of you

Facing the lamp, you are talking to yourself

And shedding tears while stroking shadows on the wall

At the moment, you should light a cigarette

Or pour yourself a glass of wine

Drunkenly to pursue that

Missing person whose whereabouts has been unknown

Or who may have been engulfed by deeper darkness

Put the lamp off

Let the cigarette alone burning the coldness at night

Spill the wine to the night out of windows

Let the darkness drunk

To vomit out another dawn

A daybreak when there will perhaps be a news

1996.11.11

夜晚和黎明--给小霞

独自睡去的夜晚

格外寒冷

黎明前的孤星更显无情

尽管有床头的橘黄色灯光

冷透的黑暗依然

不留任何余地

吞噬着全部的你

你对着灯自言自语

抚摩墙上的影子流泪

此刻，应该点燃一支烟

或为自己倒杯酒

昏醉地追逐那个

至今不知下落的失踪者

是否被更深的黑暗吞没

把灯熄灭吧

让烟独自燃烧夜的寒冷

把酒泼向窗外的夜

让黑暗醉倒

呕吐出另一个黎明

一个也许会有消息的黎明

1996.11.11

Shouldering

- To my wife in misery

You said to me:

"Everything can be shouldered"

You stubbornly let your eyes toward the sun

Until the blind was turned into a ball of flame

Which turned all of sea water into salt

Darling

Let me say to you across the darkness

Before you enter the grave

Do not forget to write me with your ashes

Do not forget to leave your address in the nether world

Bone shard would scratch your letter paper

You could not write a complete character

The broken pen tip would have hurt you

The sleepless night in burning

Would let you surprised for yourself

A stone that had shouldered the world

Would punch my back head in its hardness

White tablets made from my brains

Would poison our love

Then use the poisoned love

To poison ourselves

28 December1996, my birthday

承担

——给苦难中的妻子

你对我说：

“一切都能承担”

你顽固地让眼睛对着太阳

直到失明化为一团火焰

火焰把海水全部化为盐

亲爱的

让我隔着黑暗对你说

进入坟墓前

别忘了用骨灰给我写信

别忘了留下阴间的地址

骨碴会划破信纸

写不出一个完整的字

碎裂的笔触刺痛了你

烧灼中的不眠之夜

让你为自己而惊奇

一块石头承担了天地

以其坚硬猛击我的后脑

白色的药片由脑浆制成

毒死我们的爱

再用这中毒的爱

毒死我们自己

1996.12.28于 我的生日

A Knife Inserted into the World

- To my little Xia

You are a knife

A little knife that can never

Hurt anybody

But be inserted into the world

With no blood, nor cut

Just shining

Just being itself

Just leaving a chilling light for the rotten

You have often gone downtown or to banquets

But your heart has always been far away

Your tip’s shine is not dazzling

But always produces

A feeling of sitting in the cloud and overlooking the ants

A hat was lost in the deep valley

Being a knife

Your sole talent

Is feeding your wounds in the shadow

And stretching your legs in between the pages of a book

Thin and bright

Being a knife

Without a scabbard ever

You are confident that your existence

Is a danger

Even if by smiling every day

You will make people embarrassed

Like a bystander beyond the world

Indifferently and leisurely

Amazing sharpness

And amazing perfection

Are all on the opposite edge of the blade

Written in reeducation center, 31 March 1997

插进世界的一把刀

--给我的小霞

你是一把刀

一把从来不会

伤害任何人的小刀

插进世界之中

没有血迹，亦不切割

只是令人目眩

只是原形毕露

只是给腐烂留下一道寒光

你常置身于闹市或欢宴之中                                                                                          

而内心总是远离

刀尖的闪亮并不刺眼

却总要你产生

端坐云中俯视蚁群的感觉

一顶帽子遗失于深谷

是一把刀

你唯一的天赋

在阴影中喂养伤口

在书页间伸展四肢

纤细而光亮

是一把刀

却从来没有刀鞘

你深信自己的存在

是一种危险

即便每天都微笑

也会置人于尴尬

象置身世外的旁观者

冷漠而悠然

惊人的锋利

惊人的完美

全在刀刃的反面

1997年3月31日写于教养院

You, the Dead and the Losers

- To my wife

Darling

You have been wandering among the tombs for whole days

And silently facing

The souls of the dead in wind

The deep gazing

Made one another's blood clot

Those complete losers

Left neither name nor history

At night, your partly drunk glass of wine

Became a heap of fire

Lighting up the limited space

For the dead

They were talking about the lives

You were listening about the sufferings

Both parties were very quiet

Like the hands of the children

While sleeping

At the steeple of the dream

There grew the tender leaves of swollen-stemmed bamboo

Its suicide was always unsuccessful

But you

A woman infatuated with the losers

Have never failed yourself

From the smile of a corpse

You have learnt

That only death

Will never fail.

Walking alone on a rainy night

There was no shadow to talk to

Lies decorated the sunshine

All shiningly decayed

The day is more brutal than the night

Nobody can rescue it

Darling

Do not close yourself

Do not let yourself

Alone be jealous of losers’ despair

Open your door

To give a shelter to me, also a loser,

And take me as

A tragic reason for you to live

Let the calm smoke

Rise between you and me

10 September 1998

你·亡灵·失败者

——给我的妻

亲爱的

你整日游走于坟墓间

与风中的亡灵

默默相对

很深的注视

使彼此的血凝固

这些彻底的失败者

没有留下名字和历史

入夜，你杯中的酒

微醉着变成一堆火

为亡灵们

照亮有限的空间

它们讲述着生命

你倾听着苦难

彼此都很安详

如同孩子们

熟睡时的双手

梦的尖顶上

又长出龟贝竹的嫩叶

它的自杀总不成功

而你这个

迷恋失败者的女人

自己却从不失败

因为从尸体的微笑中

你知道了

那永远不会失败的

只有死亡

独自走在雨夜

没有影子可以交谈

谎言装饰着阳光

一切都明晃晃地腐烂

白天比夜晚更凶残

无人能够拯救

亲爱的

不要封闭自己

不要一个人

独自嫉妒失败者的绝望

敞开你的门

把我也作为失败者收留

把我也作为

你活下去的悲惨理由

让平静的烟

在你我之间升腾

1998.9.10

One Day Morning

- To Xia going alone to Tibet

One morning

A morning of yawn and fatigue

I guessed

Between you and the plateau

The sky appeared

Incredibly far-reaching

With no cloud nor wind nor fog

Its transparent blue was particularly confusing

When you were leaving

I was very calm

As soon as your back disappeared

A longing for love grew in the distance

Like the lines on the little palm of a child

Another person was walking

Windingly across my body

To seek a sole word

Words fly without wing

As smell guides the soul

The morning light was uneasily fluttering

There was a slightly strange feeling

Like a new pair of shoes

You prepared for this traveling

The shaken time

Got my dream pregnant but unwed

The jokul of hypoxia

Was greedily sucking

The first smoke you blew out

14 July 1993   

某天早晨

——给一个人去西藏的霞

某天早晨

哈欠和倦怠的早晨

我猜想

在你与高原之间

天空不可思议地

显得深远

没风没云没雾

透明的兰色格外迷茫

你走时

我很平静

你的背影一消失

思恋就在远方生长

如同孩子那小小的手掌

纹路里走动着另一个人

曲曲折折地穿过我的身体

寻找唯一的一个词

词的飞翔不需要翅膀

如同气味引导着灵魂

早晨的光线不安地抖动

有点儿陌生的感觉

象你为了这次远行

准备的那双新鞋

被摇晃的时间

让我的梦未婚先孕

缺氧的雪山

贪婪地吸着

你喷出的第一口烟

1993.7.14