Plus:
December 24,
2012
Posthumous
The
following text is adapted from a speech given to the 2012 Whiting Award
winners.
In his 1988
book of essays, “Prepared for the Worst,” Christopher Hitchens recalled
a bit
of advice given to him by the South African Nobel Laureate Nadine
Gordimer. “A
serious person should try to write posthumously,” Hitchens said, going
on to
explain: “By that I took her to mean that one should compose as if the
usual
constraints—of fashion, commerce, self-censorship, public and, perhaps
especially, intellectual opinion—did not operate.” Hitchens’s untimely
death
last year, at the age of sixty-two, has thrown this remark into relief,
pressing upon those of us who persist in writing the uncomfortable
truth that
anything we’re working on has the potential to be published
posthumously; that
death might not be far off, and that, given this disturbing reality, we
might
pay attention to it.
It’s not
very nice of me to bring up death tonight, as we gather to celebrate
ten
emerging writers. Talented and accomplished as you all are, you’re just
getting
going, so why should I rain on your parade? Here’s why: because
Gordimer’s
advice about writing posthumously may be the best way to help your
writing in
the here-and-now. It may inoculate you against the intellectual and
artistic
viruses that, as you’re exposed to the literary world, will be eager to
colonize your system.
All of the
constraints Hitchens mentions have one thing in common: they all
represent a
deformation of the self. To follow literary fashion, to write for
money, to
censor your true feelings and thoughts or adopt ideas because they’re
popular
requires a writer to suppress the very promptings that got him or her
writing
in the first place. When you started writing, in high school or
college, it
wasn’t out of a wish to be published, or to be successful, or even to
win a
lovely award like the one you’re receiving tonight. It was in response
to the
wondrousness and humiliation of being alive. Remember? You were fifteen
and
standing beside a river in wintertime. Ice floes drifted slowly
downstream.
Your nose was running. Your wool hat smelled like a wet dog. Your dog,
panting
by your side, smelled like your hat. It was hard to distinguish. As you
stood
there, watching the river, an imperative communicated itself to you.
You were
being told to pay attention. You, the designated witness, special
little
teen-age omniscient you, wearing tennis shoes out in the snow, against
your
mother’s orders. Just then the sun came out from behind the clouds,
revealing
that every twig on every tree was encased in ice. The entire world a
crystal
chandelier that might shatter if you made a sound, so you didn’t. Even
your dog
knew to keep quiet. And the beauty of the world at that moment, the
majestic
advance of ice in the river, so like the progress of the thoughts
inside your
head, overwhelmed you, filling you with one desire and one desire only,
which
was to go home immediately and write about it.
Does that
sound like you? O.K., but that’s only half the story. You’re also the
college
sophomore standing in a corner of a keg party in the basement of some
desperate
dorm. You’re standing in the corner because the light is dim. Dim light
is a
plus. In the hour or so before leaving your room, while you were lying
on your
bed innocently reading Flaubert, a zit of incomparable size and
ferocity
erupted in the middle of your forehead. The size of this blemish, its
fiery and
painful swollenness, were almost enough to keep you from coming to this
party
in the first place. Better to just stay in bed and read “Sentimental
Education.” But there’s this person of interest you’re hoping to see at
the
party and you thought that maybe with a little concealer or by combing
down
your bangs you might be able to appear in public, so this is what you
do, only
to end up, sometime later, standing in the corner, feeling the zit on
your
forehead actually pulse, like a second heartbeat. Your friends come up
to say,
“Hi,” pretending not to notice. You love them for this. You begin to
think that
your existence on earth isn’t a total mistake when suddenly you spy the
person
of interest across the room. Here’s your chance. With your head down,
like
someone using a Geiger counter, you make your way across the room. As
you pass
the person of interest, you gather courage and lift your face, despite
everything, but the person of interest is talking to somebody else, and
so you
keep on going, all the way out of the party and the dorm. And then
you’re
outside, under the black, unfeeling sky. In that moment there is no one
as
lonely, lovelorn, and unlovable as you; and yet this feeling of
hopelessness
mixes, oddly, with a perverse kind of hope, of resistance to the
regrettable
physical facts, and you’re filled with the desire to write something,
to go
back to your room and be like Flaubert, solitary and misanthropic and a
God-damned genius.
That’s what
you were probably like. I know you guys. We recognize each other.
So what I’m
saying is, this is what got you here tonight: your over-stimulated,
complicated, by turns ecstatic and despondent, specific self. And if
you’re
anything like I was when I got one of these awards, some twenty years
ago, you
didn’t know exactly how you did it. You write your first stuff pretty
much for
yourself, not thinking anybody will read, much less publish, it, not
thinking
it’ll earn money, therefore not worrying about pleasing anyone or
falling in
line with any agenda; not worrying about censoring yourself, either,
because
who’s going to see it? And, miraculously, it worked out. Not only did
you get
published but older, established writers read your stuff and nominated
you for
a Whiting and the selection committee met and picked you out a huge
body of
nominees. And so here you are tonight, in New York City, and—I don’t
want to
ruin your night or anything—but everything’s about to change. You’re
not
writing for yourself anymore. Now you’re a published author or a
playwright
whose one-act has been produced—and suddenly everybody thinks you’re a
professional. You did it before, wrote a book, a play, a collection of
poetry,
so you can do it again, right? And as you begin to worry about how to
do that,
that’s when your immune system is at its weakest and the pathogens can
make
their way in.
Fashion will
come at you from two directions, from outside and in. You might start
noticing
what’s getting attention in the press. You might begin to forget the
person you
are in order to write and sound like someone else. Alternately, you
might be
tempted to repeat yourself. To follow the fashion of your own previous
work, to
stop exploring, learning and trying new things, for risk of failure.
If you try
to write posthumously, however, fashion doesn’t apply. You step off the
catwalk, ignoring this season’s trends and resigning yourself to being
unfashionable and possibly unnoticed, at least for a while. As Kurt
Woolf,
Kafka’s first publisher in Germany, wrote to him after Kafka’s book
tanked,
“You and we know that it is generally just the best and most valuable
things
that do not find their echo immediately.” Fashion is the attempt to
evade that
principle: to be the echo of someone else’s success and, therefore, to
create
nothing that might create an echo of its own.
The Yankees
played the Detroit Tigers in the A.L.C.S. last week, to a highly
satisfying
conclusion, from my perspective. Doug Fister, starting right-hander for
the
Tigers, when asked how the team was dealing with the pressure, had
something
like this to say: “We just try to stay within ourselves. That’s what
we’ve been
doing all year, as a team. The important thing to do, as a pitcher, is
I just
try to stay within myself. So, yeah, when I’m out there, on the mound,
in a
game like that, a big game, what I’m thinking about is staying within
myself.
Because the important thing to do in a situation like this is, you
know, to
stay within yourself.”
Professional
athletes aren’t always the most articulate people. Athletes are rarely
nominated for a Whiting Award (though the committee might consider R.A.
Dickey
of the Mets next year). A lack of articulateness, however, doesn’t mean
that
the speaker doesn’t know what he’s talking about. A Major League
pitcher is
dealing with big-time pressure. Don’t discount the wisdom of “stay
within
yourself.” Fister knows whereof he speaks. And don’t for a minute think
that
you, as writers, are under any less pressure. Society at large may not
recognize it, but every morning when you go to your writing desks
you’re up
against not the Yankees but the literary tradition, two thousand years
of great
works to admire, learn from, compete against, and, hopefully, expand.
It’s no
small task you’ve set yourself. Don’t let anybody tell you different.
The other
trap you might fall into is to start thinking about money. “No one but
a
blockhead ever wrote, except for money,” said Samuel Johnson. Well—and
I’ve
never gotten to do this before—I’d like to disagree with Dr. Johnson.
Once you
start conceiving of your book as a commodity, you start thinking about
readers
as potential buyers, as customers to be lured. This makes you try to
anticipate
their tastes and cater to them. In doing so, you begin to depart from
your own
inclinations rather than respond to what the Irish novelist, Colm
Toibin, has
referred to as “the stuff that won’t go away.” “It seems that the
essential
impulse in working is … to allow what haunts you to have a voice, to
chart what
is deeply private and etched on the soul, and find a form and structure
for
it.” Facing up to what haunts you and finding a form and structure for
it can
never be a commercial enterprise. That stuff’s too chaotic and
unpredictable,
too messy and gorgeous, to fit a popular template. But it’s the source
of your
originality and may well prove popular in the end.
Your
audience, as it grows, your need for a teaching job, the fact of being
taken
seriously and reviewed by people—all these things might lead you to
over-analyze your words and censor them. As Adrienne Rich put it,
“Lying is
done with words and also with silence.” You’re too young to remember
this—I’m
too young to remember this—but in 1976 Vivian Gornick wrote an essay
called
“Why Do these Men Hate Women?” Underneath this boldfaced headline were
the
photos of Normal Mailer, John Updike, and Philip Roth. Mailer probably
enjoyed
that, but I doubt Updike and Roth did. Still, what did Philip Roth do
in
response to that attack? He went on to publish books like “Sabbath’s
Theater,”
in order to provoke such critics rather than placate them. And the
important
thing isn’t whether you like Philip Roth or think he’s a nice person or
a
misogynist or a pervert or just really funny; the important thing is
that no
one would dispute that Roth has continued to be the writer he had to
be, a
writer who has been lionized and vilified. But, let’s face it, mostly
lionized.
And why do
people like Roth live way out in the country, anyway? Because living in
the
sticks is like being dead—it’s a way of forgetting that anybody’s
watching.
It’s a way of writing posthumously. Better, of course, if you can do it
in
Brooklyn, where you can get a decent meal, but do whatever you have to
do.
Equally
insidious is to adopt a bien pensant manner, to make sure that
everything you
say is earnest and well meaning, the kind of thing Bono might put in a
lyric.
Piety can be another form of censorship.
You get what
I’m saying. The same goes for spouting popular ideas, intellectual or
otherwise, that aren’t your own. You have to watch yourself closely
because
it’s easy for some trendy notion to filter in. You put it in a sentence
and it
sounds reasonably intelligent. Then your book comes out and, out of all
the
thousands of words in it, that one little word gets noticed by some wag
in
Cobble Hill, who traces it back to the source you borrowed it from, and
in that
moment you feel very, very small. You feel undeserving of the privilege
of
being a writer, in the company of all the writers whose stringent
examples you
set out, long ago, to emulate.
I’m winding
down now. They tell me there’s going to be a party after this. I don’t
want to
keep you from your rightful fun. In closing, let me say one more thing
about
Mr. Kafka. When Kafka was diagnosed with tuberculosis, in Berlin, he
reacted at
first with a serenity amounting almost to relief. As his health
deteriorated,
he became more fearful: “What I have play acted is really going to
happen,” he
wrote in a letter to a friend. “I have not bought myself off by my
writing. I
died my whole life and now I will really die.”
To die your
whole life. Despite the morbidity, I can’t think of a better definition
of the
writing life. There’s something about writing that demands a
leave-taking, an
abandonment of the world, paradoxically, in order to see it clearly.
This
retreat has to be accomplished without severing the vital connection to
the
world, and to people, that feeds the imagination. It’s a difficult
balance. And
here is where these ruminations about writing touch on morality. The
same
constraints to writing well are also constraints to living fully. Not
to be a
slave to fashion or commerce, not to succumb to arid self-censorship,
not to
bow to popular opinion—what is all that but a description of the
educated,
enlightened life? Anyway, it’s the one you’ve chosen, the first fruits
of which
we’re here to honor tonight. It’s an honor for me to preside over this
ceremony. I’m happy to do it in gratitude for the help the Whiting
Foundation
has given so many writers, including myself. I don’t remember who made
the
speech and read the citations my year, as you probably won’t remember
me.
That’s O.K. Just remember what Doug Fister of the Detroit Tigers said:
“Stay
within yourself.” And, most of all, don’t forget Nadine Gordimer’s
advice.
Don’t censor yourself. Don’t go along with the crowd. Don’t be greedy.
Don’t be
cheap. Young as you are, play dead—so that your eyes will stay open.